Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest mom memes and tweets of the week.
Just a quick “please and thank you” again this week – please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Thank you.
Second, this week has some KILLER jokes. I LOLed a few times collecting these treasures.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
Do people realize when they say you look great did you lose weight they’re actually saying you were fat before and you looked terrible?
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) August 3, 2022
boss: ok, so let's get everyone in this meeting added to the next one
my 4yo: *nodding emphatically*
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 3, 2022
Me: what streaming service is Below Deck on again?
Husband: it starts with a P and ends with my dick
Me: just say 'Peacock' like a regular human
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) August 4, 2022
One day, thousands of years from now, archaeologists will dig up my dead body and be like, “She’s been lying on top of the remote this entire time.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 3, 2022
Spent $$$ on tickets to Disneyland and my kids’ favorite part: the corn dogs, Mac & cheese, and ice cream sundae. Next summer break I’m taking them to a Sizzler instead
— Melissa Gutierrez (@Fiveoclockmommy) August 3, 2022
Trying to decide on a school portrait package that’s somewhere between “I care but I don’t need my son’s face on a kitchen towel.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 3, 2022
I view the change I find in the dryer as payment from my family for doing their laundry
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 3, 2022
I was applying for homeowners insurance today and they asked if I had any pets to which I said, “yes, two cats.” And then they asked me “have they been trained to attack or cause bodily harm?” and I wanted to know if anyone had been able to do this because I’ll hire you
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) August 3, 2022
My parenting style can best be described as: messing my kids up enough to make them funny, but not so much that they need rehab.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) August 3, 2022
Thoughts and prayers for my teen, she's fine, but apparently I "blinked wrong" while she was telling me a story and now she just can't even
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) August 3, 2022
My kid does an amazing old lady impression with a toothless grin, a pretend cane, a bent posture and says in her old lady voice “I was born in 1983”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 1, 2022
Sometimes I like to mess with my husband and say things like "Honey, please hand me a waffle knife" and watch him panic.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 3, 2022
When I see something gross I share it because you should never have to suffer alone
— eLeni (@eleniZarro) August 3, 2022
6 asked me, at 10 in the morning, if my water had alcohol in it and I was so offended.
Of course it has alcohol in it.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) August 3, 2022
I look forward to the phone call from the teacher about 2 weeks into school confirming everything I will tell her today at Open House.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) August 4, 2022
Sorry I was late… my granny panties gave me vintage cameltoe
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 29, 2022
When you go in the pool with kids and tell them you don’t want to get your hair wet, they take that as a challenge.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 3, 2022
i denied my sons request to watch a PG-13 movie while the memory slowly seeped in of my friends mom taking us to see milk money when we were just 10…
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) August 3, 2022
Me: *buys the expensive ice cream* cause “I deserve it”
Also me: *refuses to purchase actual chip clips* cause “we can’t justify wasting money like that”
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) August 2, 2022
Today I broke up a fight my kids had over whose popsicle was colder. Don’t tell me being a mom isn’t cool.
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) August 2, 2022