Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
Just a quick “please and thank you” again this week – please subscribe to my YouTube channel. Thank you.
Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
I’m not saying I’m nailing this parent thing, but my teen daughter did say good morning to me today.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 30, 2022
Looking over my shoulder at a case I brought home, my 10 y/o daughter saw a rough-looking mug shot and confidently stated, “Yep, that guy looks like he skipped a lot of school.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) September 1, 2022
The best piece of advice I received in life came from my grandmother, who said, “std’s are not Pokémon, there’s no satisfaction in catching them all”
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 31, 2022
"I'll see you later today" I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) August 29, 2022
7YO: When did I get inside mommy's tummy?
Me: June 9 2012 right after I made tea and for the first time, mommy saw me put the jar of sugar back in the cabinet
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 31, 2022
My wife just had to explain to our 5yo that you “don’t put butter in a smoothie”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 31, 2022
Me: [trying to hide a dead body] you gotta help me
Hamburger Helper Glove: THIS IS WAY OUT OF MY LANE MAN
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) August 31, 2022
I was informed by my 12yo that I can’t get mad at the mean thing he said because he “was just telling the truth.”
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 31, 2022
On the 1st day of school, my 6-year-old told me about his art teacher, Mr. McClay. This week, I found out his name is actually Mr. Mitchell.
Turns out my kid has been calling him McClay because he thinks that's a better name for an art teacher.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 31, 2022
How to tell you’re going to lose an argument with your wife:
1. You’re in an argument with your wife
— Mike (@Parentpains) August 26, 2022
If you don't think one year is a big deal then "accidentally" say your wife is one year older than she really is.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) September 1, 2022
My kid is literally eating dirt in the backyard but yea I’ll go ahead and triple-wash these grapes.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) August 31, 2022