Welcome to the SECOND installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
Yesterday, I featured the moms. Now, it’s time for the dads to bring the chuckles.
Summer is just around the corner. I’m ready. This winter felt too damn long. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I don’t have a lawn to mow or a grill. I’ll have to live vicariously through all the dads on this list.
Are you gonna flip that burger or what?!?!
Please enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Me to my 7yo: try to write a birthday poem for Mommy
[5 minutes later]
7yo: did you know heart rhymes with fart?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 18, 2022
My son’s kindergarten teacher wanted to chat with me today because my son told his class that his mom died… and came back to life!
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) May 19, 2022
My 6-year-old: I can't sleep
Me: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind
6: What color are the sheep? Wait, what color is the fence? Wait, why are they jumping? WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM…?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 17, 2022
My 12 y/o told me she knows the “5 minute trick” where parents say they’ll be back in 5 minutes at bedtime and never come back because she once counted to 40 minutes and I did not come back.
If anything happens to me, I think we know the prime suspect.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) May 19, 2022
If you put a lime wedge in your beer it becomes juice. Follow me for more health tips.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 20, 2022
I made a bad dad joke in a work meeting and no one laughed. It’s true, work really is like family.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 19, 2022
12yo: I'm holding my nose because 80% of taste is smell
12yo: Because I don't like how dinner tast-
Me: Ya thx I got that
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 19, 2022
If we lived in Antarctica my kids would still ask me every morning if it’s shorts weather
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 18, 2022
My signature move is getting people to ask if I’m okay after I haven’t moved in hours
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) May 19, 2022
When I hear a baby crying I want to tell them it only gets worse.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 18, 2022
Today I'm moving my daughter back from college for the last time.
Time goes by so fast.
Before you know it, your kids have grown up, graduated college, and are still living in your house eating your food, drinking your beer and using up your internet bandwidth and hot water.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 19, 2022