Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
If you’re on Twitter, please give me a follow. I’d appreciate it.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
Before you settle on a baby name, you should have people say it with with every different accent and see if you still like it. My first choice name failed the Boston accent test
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) November 2, 2022
I just used my CVS receipt to wrap my son like a mummy for Halloween.
You can also scan him for $2 off Advil.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 31, 2022
My brother has gotten really into running and it's reminded me how much I hate listening to people talk about running.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) November 2, 2022
*Gives extra candy to the kids with dads in grey sweatpants.
— deathbecomesher (@JuliePeloquin14) October 31, 2022
The first sentence of an obituary should tell you how the person died, it’s the only reason I’m reading it anyway
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 2, 2022
My kid just learned “uh oh spaghettios” but he keeps forgetting and is yelling “oh no noodles” instead
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 1, 2022
Stayed up late having a WILD night
*watching Toy Story with my sick child
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) November 2, 2022
My favorite part of parenting is watching the same tiny human that just happily ate what he pulled out of his nose, gag over my homemade lasagna
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 27, 2022
It’s that time of year when Mariah Carey shoots out of a cannon and destroys your soul.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 2, 2022
I see your grey sweatpants and raise you lulu lemons and a thin shirt on a chilly day.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) November 2, 2022
When the kids are sitting down and eating quietly that’s like drugs for moms
— 🤷🏼♀️Mommeh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) October 31, 2022
Apparently, disaster is the new black.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) October 28, 2022
ive been watching a lot of national geographic with my kids and the more i learn about how intelligent and complex other species are-from whales to birds to insects-it makes me realize that humans are the worst
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 30, 2022
My kids and I play this fun game where I wake up early to enjoy a coffee alone and they wake up earlier to make sure that I don’t
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 2, 2022
I told 5 I was trying out a new recipe for dinner. She put her head in her hands, said “oh man this isn’t going to end well” and walked off with a box of cereal
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) November 2, 2022
The adult version of the floor is lava is if you get off the couch someone is going to ask you to get something.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 2, 2022
I'm pretty sure that my husband wants a divorce. I mean he didn't say it but he left 1 square of toilet paper on the roll, so…
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) November 1, 2022
me: I really need to be more present with my kids
me, 2 hours later: that’s enough
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) October 2, 2022
I swear to god if my kids don’t finish their pizza, chips and soda there will be no candy for them tonight
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) October 31, 2022
My toddler is mad at me because I won’t let her shove candy between couch cushions.
— Terri Fry (@momlikethat1) November 1, 2022
my kid from the top of the stairs in the morning: everything the light touches is my kingdom
— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) November 2, 2022
6 first waking up: mommy, can I go watch tv?
Me: sure just get dressed for school first.
6: never mind.
— Mama•Is•Surviving (@MomOf2Happas) November 2, 2022