Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
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If you missed yesterday’s mom memes and tweets, read those too.
Sit right down and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
“Stop picking on your little sister and making her fake cry,” and other ways I show my compassionate side to my kids as a dad.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 26, 2022
"Oh, I do like Chinese food!"
-My 6yo, eating chicken fingers & fries from The Imperial Bamboo kid's menu
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 27, 2022
I was right once and made my wife admit I was right and now I’m scared to eat or drink anything she brings me can somebody give me guidance please?!
— Spooky Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) October 26, 2022
My kid’s teacher found him during recess sitting on the ground head down with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He told her his friends were doing a skit in which he played a pumpkin and that he was “staying in character.” Great. I’m raising a method actor.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) October 27, 2022
Some of the nice things about fall are going to bed when it's dark, and waking up when it's dark and going to work when it's still dark and getting off when it's dark eating dinner in the dark embrace the dark become the dark
— 🍁Yukon Ghost (@GrahamKritzer) October 25, 2022
I’m gonna sprain my finger switching back and forth between the heat and air this time of year
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 26, 2022
Congratulations to my wife on the purchase of her one millionth candle.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 27, 2022
Dads love telling other dads while trick or treating, “You scared me, Bob. Next time don’t come dressed as yourself”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 27, 2022
Parenting books never prepared me for how much time I’d spend arguing for kids to get both into and out of the shower.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 27, 2022
I accidentally used my kids’ toothpaste and now I won’t stop talking about poop at the dinner table.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 27, 2022
Her: I want a man who will carry me to the bedroom
Me: I gotchu babe *Gives piggyback*
— Mike (@Parentpains) October 27, 2022
Job interviewer: How disciplined are you
Me: I still have my kids’ Halloween candy from last year
Interviewer: When can you start
— Dad Set Against…the Dead 🧟♂️ (@DadSetAgainst) October 26, 2022
Dating apps need sections where you can check off all your traumas so we can all save each other some time
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) October 27, 2022
Welcome to your 40s. All your favorite foods now upset your stomach.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) October 25, 2022
My girlfriend just couldn't accept my
obsession with horoscopes.In the end it Taurus apart.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) October 27, 2022
being a parent is a thankless job. do my kids bring me joy every second? no. but do i let that bother me and do i keep my head up and a smile on my face anyways? also no.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 26, 2022
Imagine you own a restaurant. A customer orders a meal and tells you it’s disgusting. They say this is the worst restaurant they’ve ever been to and you’re the worst chef in the world. This is what it’s like cooking for kids.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) October 26, 2022
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