Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
I left the house for five minutes and my kids called me in tears to ask if I was ever coming home, my husband dialed the phone for them
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 2, 2023
I’m about to eat In-N-Out and watch jurassic park haven’t been this happy since 1998
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 28, 2023
having children is great because just when you’re on the brink of insanity from overstimulation one of them will launch into an hour long educational session on pokemon
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 29, 2023
Who cares if an animal predicted weather, I am more interested to know if these crying babies are predicting six more hours of flight delay
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) February 2, 2023
You know those bumper stickers that say “football mom” or whatever I need one that says “my kid watches a lot of YouTube”
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) January 31, 2023
Have kids so you can find a surprising number of spoons just hanging out in the refrigerator
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 1, 2023
Tried to explain what an album is to my 6 year old and now she’s actively looking for a nursing home to put me in.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) January 31, 2023
I started drinking more water and eating healthier and I actually feel better. This is bullshit.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 2, 2023
A moment of sweet, sweet silence, please, for my kid’s “lost” kazoo
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 2, 2023
My mom once slapped ketchup and cheese on Wonder bread and called it pizza and my kids are complaining that their sushi isn’t cut to their satisfaction
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 2, 2023
All I really need right now is for someone to hand feed me peanut butter m&ms; is that too much to ask?!
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) February 2, 2023
We as parents have a common enemy: the one parent who yells encore at the end of a junior high band concert.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 2, 2023