Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My daughter has become a fan of Nirvana so I told her how I must be a cool dad since I turned her on to it and she said, “Yeah, it must feel pretty good that a 5th grade kid from this century likes your music.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 31, 2023
I wish I was still in contact with my senior year English teacher so I could ask her if waiting for my clothes to finish in the dryer just so I can wear them to sweat at the gym is a good example of irony
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) January 29, 2023
I hate it when at dismissal time the school staff asks impossible questions like, “which aftercare class is your child in today”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 1, 2023
What level of marriage is it when your spouse texts ‘I pulled a you’ and you know exactly what it means
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) February 2, 2023
found the baby playing w/ tacks like they were legos so threw some hot coals & razor blades in for more holistic learning
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) February 3, 2023
My wife said, “I don’t quite understand the science behind human cloning.”
Me: "That makes two of us…”
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) February 4, 2023
Our vacuum cleaner has a headlight just in case I want to do housework in the dark or something idk
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 4, 2023
You’re either a sports parent spending weekends at tournaments or a DIY parent spending weekends on home improvement projects. Those are your options.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) February 4, 2023
Just saw an ad for 6 Valentine's Day cookies for $45 plus shipping. That's $7+ per cookie. Those cookies better be drawing me a bath, rubbing my feet, pouring me a mimosa, and telling me I'm pretty for that price.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 4, 2023
It’s pretty easy to get your partner to move in with you, when you secretly burn their house down.
— Mike (@Parentpains) January 23, 2023
CEO: So we have just one opposed?
Exec: that's correct sir.
CEO: Well, it's unanimous. We will call this the Lazy Susan.
Susan: this is absolute bullshit Ted!
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) February 1, 2023
it's me. i don't even know who's playing. i don't care. pass the nachos pic.twitter.com/MgehMivBHg
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 3, 2023
My 5yo has informed me that when mommy reads bedtime stories that she sounds cuter than I do. I don’t know what I’m meant to do with this information.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 1, 2023
I just noticed I’ve had mac and cheese on my slipper for I don’t know how long
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 3, 2023
My wife said we don't have to buy each other anything for Valentine's Day.
Just in case this is a trap I bought her one of everything.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 4, 2023
Let me know if I missed your favorite dad’s tweet, joke, or meme this week!
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