Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Dropped my daughter off at school and she pointed out a teacher walking through the parking lot and nonchalantly said, “There’s Mr. Blobfish. He has a real name but he looks like a blob fish.” 7th graders are savage.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 24, 2023
If people wonder what dating is like in 2023, two women at the gym just high-fived because one (her words) “finally found a boyfriend.”
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) January 26, 2023
Parenting fact, your child won’t say a word through the day and then host a talk show everytime you take them to a public toilet
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 26, 2023
I have no idea what is going on with my 9yo but she is in the living room SHOUTING her multiplication tables
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) January 24, 2023
wife’s mad because the kids woke up right after I left for work again, something about me being too noisy I dunno I couldn’t hear her over the silence of my commute
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) January 26, 2023
Why did the EMTs travel in sets of two?
They wanted to be a pair-a-medics.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) January 25, 2023
Kids thrive on routine which is why we argue about the same things every single morning.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 24, 2023
No story was ever made shorter after saying "To make a long story short."
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 26, 2023
My wife keeps entrusting me with things even though I have a long track record of doing them incorrectly
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) January 26, 2023
I need to update my LinkedIn profile because I’ve booked so many playdates for my 5yo that I think I’m his personal assistant
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) January 26, 2023
We finished the cheesecake my grandma made and I was so happy we got that gone so I'd stop eating it. then I woke up this morning and she made a new one. Hello fatness my old friend. I'm gonna wobble once again.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 26, 2023
Genie: You have thr –
Me: I want Tom to finally catch Jerry
Me: just choke the life out of him
Genie: oh i LOVE this
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) January 24, 2023
As a teen I couldn’t wait to be able to have my first drink, as an adult I can’t wait to have my first drink everyday.
— Mike (@Parentpains) January 20, 2023
Toddler at the airport screeching like a banshee because he can’t run around.
I don’t miss that at alllllllll.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 25, 2023
Scrutinizing That 90s Show for historical inaccuracies the way my father does war movies.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) January 25, 2023