Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but putting the dead batteries in the junk drawer does not charge them.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 9, 2023
Oh look, it’s the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 9, 2023
The kids asked me if I would watch them put on a talent show tonight and then promptly announced their band broke up
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) February 4, 2023
I cut up carrots and washed fruit for the week in hopes consuming something other than cheese this week
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 5, 2023
My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) February 7, 2023
Apparently mama did raise a fool because I gave my son a muffin AFTER I vacuumed.
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) February 8, 2023
My 5yo just put an X through every item on my to do list, announcing nope nope nope, and who am I to argue with that
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 7, 2023
Oh this? This is my emotional support bag of mini-marshmallows that I snack on while deciding what to snack on next.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) February 7, 2023
My oldest earned her iPad time by doing chores, reading, and completing her homework.
My youngest earns her iPad time by screaming in the car.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 8, 2023
I’m hoping the next currency fad is solo kids’ socks. Because at the rate I find these around the house, I’m going to be a bazillionaire
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 6, 2023
The biggest lie I learned in school was that women reach their sexual peak at 40. All 40yo me wants is to scroll my phone and eat my bowl of mashed potatoes
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 6, 2023
Leonardo DiCaprio turning into a creepy old man perv, was not on my 1996 bingo card.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) February 7, 2023