Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Please enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
I lost my voice and my dad told my kids that if I have to yell at them I’ll lose it forever, so they’re behaving beautifully because they’re worried that I’ll never be able to yell at them again, I don’t understand it but I’m grateful for the peace
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 11, 2023
if i had a vision board it would look suspiciously like a charcuterie board
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 12, 2023
The meanest shit ever is the fact they make pregnant women pee in cups the size of thimbles like sir I can't even see my feet right now what are the chances I don't piss all over my hand
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 12, 2023
When I’m having a bad day nothing sets me off quite like trying to pull one wipe out of the container and 47 more coming with it
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) April 7, 2023
Me: “Good morning sweetie! How did you sleep?”
7: “Good until you came in”
— Mom.Whine.Repeat (@MomWhineRepeat) April 12, 2023
I bring a certain “who invited her” vibe to the table
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) April 10, 2023
My 4yo just started playing rock, paper, scissors with himself. The good news is he won.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 12, 2023
It’s 7:30am, and I just broke up a screaming match between two kids about who the last Cadbury egg belongs to, in case you wondered how spring break has been going.
(Me. It now belongs to me, suckers.)
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 13, 2023
No one tells you that when your kids are finally older and able to put themselves to bed, they’re just always around and they never go to bed.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 12, 2023
I need to hire someone to clean my house. I’m broke though so I can’t pay with money, but I’ll make you food or give you booze…
— Mama•Is•Surviving (@MomOf2Happas) April 12, 2023
I work over 48 hours a week and my husband still won't do his own laundry, that is all, carry on
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) April 12, 2023
50% of modern life is trying to figure out what’s beeping.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 12, 2023
Shaking my head at how many Greysons are in my kid’s class as if I didn't just send a work email to the 5th Chris of the day
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 12, 2023
Last night my 9yo told me there’s no way Santa is real… he’s known for awhile that reindeer can’t fly. So I asked if he wanted to help me hide eggs and he LOST IT.
“You mean the Easter bunny isn’t real, either?”
Oops.— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) April 9, 2023
I’m no psychic but I know there’s still a piece of Easter grass on your floor somewhere.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 12, 2023
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