Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
The most important thing when going to a party is planning the escape route.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) April 6, 2023
I’d like to report an OSHA violation. pic.twitter.com/bIJIiKhtYL
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 6, 2023
My son was grumpy, so I said, "Sounds like someone’s blood type is B NEGATIVE" and where's my Father of the Year trophy?
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 6, 2023
I found stir fry all over my bed this morning…
I must have been sleep wokking again.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) April 2, 2023
I have children, so my tax refund check is immediately deposited into our Swear Jar.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 6, 2023
said ‘big yawn’ to an adult the other day
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) April 4, 2023
Pulled up to a stoplight and the guy next to me who also had his kids in the car was playing air guitar and headbanging so obviously I slammed out an air drum solo for him because that’s what dads do.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) April 6, 2023
When someone blocks the aisle at the grocery store I sneak in a pineapple and cauliflower pizza crust in their cart
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 6, 2023
God: lol they called it good Friday
Jesus: they fucking WHAT
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) April 6, 2023
if you don't have a favorite toilet in your own home what are you even doing with your life?
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 6, 2023
Sometimes I like to think I’ve finally got my wife figured out, but then she throws me a curveball and wakes me up at 2:30am to ask me if I ran the dishwasher
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) April 6, 2023
My toddler tripped over one of her toys and fell to the ground but instead of crying she just laid down on the floor as if that was what she meant to do all along
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) April 3, 2023
As a parent, you’ll spend around 1,387 days of your lifetime waiting to pick up your kid from practice
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 5, 2023