The funny, bitter, frustrated, and curmudgeonly mom and dads return after the holidays and they’re all in rare form.
I realized people weren’t really in the mood to be funny this week while searching for these funny parenting tweets and memes.
It’s hard to find reasons to joke when the world is turned upside down.
Thankfully, these parents found some stuff to make fun of.
Here are the funniest tweets and memes from moms and dads this week.
There was 15 Oreo cookies left, so to give each of my 4 children the same, I was forced to eat 11 of them.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 7, 2021
It’s 4:52pm and my 4yo just said, “ughh, why isn’t it nighttime already?!” And just like that, she turned into a middle-aged mom of two.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 27, 2020
May you find someone who gives you as much attention as a dog watching a toddler eating dinner off a paper plate.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) January 5, 2021
Parenting isn't really a test, it's more an unrelenting series of pop quizzes that you had no clue were coming and are in no way prepared for.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 5, 2021
The world: We need a moment of healing and unity
PBS: *cancels Caillou*
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 6, 2021
One minute you are young and carefree and the next minute your kids are asking for help with their history homework because you were alive in the nineteen hundreds.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 7, 2021
Cherish Every Moment #27462
4: Mommy! Smell my fingers! They were in my butt!
— MommyCocktail (@MommyCocktail) January 4, 2021
Have kids so that as you’re getting them ready for bed after an exhausting day they can say things like, “Mommy next week you’re gonna be a real hippopotamus.”
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) January 4, 2021
1st day of virtual learning:
My kid showed and shared the bottle of lube daddy put in mommy’s Christmas stocking.
How was your 1st day back?
— The Momster Club (@MomsterClub) January 5, 2021
Good morning to everyone, especially those who are muttering “for fucks sake” at least ten times a day now
— Cumberdick Benderbatch (@CumberdickB) January 8, 2021
Can't talk right now, doing hot dad shit… pic.twitter.com/NUER5XTsHj
— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@CafeinatedBacon) January 8, 2021
Can’t. Too busy looking online for dino-shaped furniture and wondering if I’m just a character in a dystopian fantasy simulation. You know, just normal hot girl shit.
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) January 7, 2021
I can’t wait until I can start spending time with people again so I can complain about having to spend time with people again.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 7, 2021
Cabin fever has gotten so bad that my husband and I just argued over who would get to pick up a prescription from the drive-thru pharmacy
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 1, 2021
What it’s like riding with a teenager learning how to drive:
Flew over the speed bump at normal speed because she thought it was supposed to slow her down.
The next try she slowed down too much and didn’t make it over.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) January 4, 2021
Have you tried teaching your family a lesson by not turning the laundry right side in before folding it? Highly recommend, so liberating.
— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) January 4, 2021
I hate it when everyone asks me what’s for dinner just because I’m the mom.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 5, 2021
I know I should be taking my Christmas decorations down, but these murder documentaries aren’t going to watch themselves. And I don’t want to.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) January 6, 2021
Toddler: dad I can take my penis off?
Toddler: I want to take my penis off!
Me: no you don’t.
Toddler: yes I do!
Me: If you still feel that way when you’re older you can take your penis off.
Son: I WANT TO TAKE MY PENIS OFF NOW!
Waiter: I’ll come back.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 22, 2019
6-year-old: How old do I have to be to drive a car?
6: Even if I'm cute?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 7, 2021
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