I’m going to use this space to promote my friend Clint Edwards and his new book – Father-ish: Laugh-Out-Loud Tales From a Dad Trying Not to Ruin His Kids’ Lives.
Clint Edwards equates fatherhood to the time he did an important live TV interview from home: To the viewers, he looked put-together in a nice button-up shirt . . . but below the camera he wasn’t wearing any pants. And it may have looked like he was in a nice office, but he was in fact hidden in his bedroom closet because his whole house was too messy to show.
This highly relatable collection gets to the heart of parenting: all those unexpected fails, awkward conversations, and well-intentioned little white lies.
Clint chronicles all these things and more with stories like “The Time My Son Realized I Was Santa,” “I’ve Never Been to Hell, but I Have Been to a Little Girl’s Birthday Party,” and “How to Get the Sex Talk Very, Very Wrong.”
And with each story you’ll see over and over again that there really aren’t any rules when it comes to parenting, and all you can do is try your best.
I’m almost done reading this book and it’s hilarious.
Grab yourself a copy and support a friend of ours.
Ok, now here are some of the funniest parenting tweets and memes from parents this week.
I’m still wearing the T-shirt I slept in last night cause I haven’t had enough coffee you judgmental fuckwaffles.
— 𝓜50♕ ☠︎ (@contradiction70) September 6, 2020
Everyday is Prime Day when you’re married to my wife.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 13, 2020
10: “I have to fart but I can’t.”
10: “I’m Fartstipated.”
Me: “That’s not a word.”
10: “It is now.”
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) October 16, 2020
The tag on my jeans says "Relaxed" so it obviously doesn't have children.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 16, 2020
I bought a 5 lb bag of Halloween candy on the way to the gym today. follow me for more fitness advice.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 16, 2020
My son just tripped and fell down 10+ outdoor steps like a slinky, lost both of his shoes in the tumble, screamed bloody murder for 2 seconds before he demanded cake. This is called a long con and I respect it.
— Krysta (@kaL12578) October 15, 2020
Probability tells you that a toddler has a 50-50 chance of putting their shoes on the correct feet. Parenting tells you otherwise.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 16, 2020
This promotional poster for the upcoming Star Wars Lego Holiday Special wins the day. pic.twitter.com/7GlPWfPx1X
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) October 15, 2020
Attention all businesses: You don’t have to write “Due to Covid” in your emails and store signage when explaining policy and protocol changes. We know it’s due to Covid. EVERYTHING is due to Covid!!
— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) October 15, 2020
"Did you get the Charlie – Oscar – Oscar – Kilo – India – Echo – Sierra?"
-My husband and I having to switch up our code since my daughter is learning how to spell in school now.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) October 12, 2020
I’ve started reading my children Roald Dahl’s Matilda, and there’s nothing like sharing one of the most pivotal stories of your formative years as your kids screech about how boring it is.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 11, 2020
As soon as I learn middle school math, lose some of this Pandemic weight, sober up a bit and figure out how to put on makeup again it’s all over for you bitches.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) October 10, 2020
I’m a big fan of getting to the fucking point.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) October 12, 2020
Doctors – get asked for free diagnoses by friends.
Tax preparers – gets hit up to do friends’ taxes.
Writers – “Julie, you’re a writer – how do you spell the plural for vag? Is it Vags? Vages? Vags’?”
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) October 10, 2020
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I demand a lollipop after what I’ve just been put through. (@marriageandmartinis is a guaranteed laugh every time! Go follow and make sure to subscribe to the podcast, too!) • • • #obgyn #gyno #girlproblems #womenproblems #momsirl #womenirl #goodquestion #funny #mothermonster #scarymommy #doctor #momhumor #kiddos
Everybody knows the Nextdoor app is for finding missing cats and landscapers. Nobody wants to hear your political rant, Brad.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) October 15, 2020
My favorite part of the day is when I fall asleep watching tv at 9:30 and then wake up at 11:30, wide awake. This is what all you young people have to look forward to.
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) October 15, 2020
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(My fan sings): There's no earthly way of knowing… which direction we are going… Follow me for more fan tweets. . . . . . . . . . . . #parenting #parentinglife #parentingmemes #parenthood #mom #momlifebelike #motherhoodunplugged #mombloggers #motherhood #dad #dadlife #dadsofinstagram #fatherhood #family #memer #scarymommy #childhoodunplugged #lifewithkids #memeoftheday #memes #funnymemes #dailymemes
Homeschooling: where you start the lesson talking about the planet Venus and end the lesson when your child asks what a colonoscopy is.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 15, 2020
A marriage is only as strong as the locks on your separate bedrooms
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 15, 2020
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I can't believe my husband had the audacity to park behind me and block my car in the driveway when I had no intention of getting up and going to the gym this morning
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 16, 2020