This week has been bonkers, no matter which candidate you support, so some feel-good stuff is probably necessary to reduce stress levels.
If that’s the case, I highly recommend reading about this dad who ran 26.2 miles around a hospital for his son or the story about the inmate who helped a struggling runner by helping her finish a marathon.
If neither of those stories helps to cheer you up, maybe you just need a couple of memes and one-liners from funny parents.
Here are some of the funniest parenting tweets and memes from parents this week.
I’ve actually lost weight. What the scale says is fraud. These pounds came in after I got in the scale. I had lost so much and these illegal pounds just got placed on there. Don’t believe the number on the scale.
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 5, 2020
I’ve forgotten how to respond to good news— do I sit down? throw up? put on a scarf? It’s been so long I don’t know
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) November 6, 2020
[delivery room]
baby: [is born, cries]
me: how is this kid pissed already
— mattewe🥈 (@mattewe02) November 6, 2020
Maybe we can all come together now and unite against our common enemy: the people who put antlers on their cars.
— your other turkey mom (@difficultpatty) November 6, 2020
Me: Babe!
(No answer)
Me: Babe!
3: Babe! Mommy want you
𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭
— Kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) November 6, 2020
Mom: I need a million grand babies!
[later]
Me: Yeah, so I had all these kids, can you watch them for a couple hours so I can have a break?
Mom: Absolutely not.
— Dingus Khan 🦃 (@The_Dingus_Khan) November 6, 2020
My kids are demanding a recount of their Halloween candy.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2020
I know this is a big day for our country but in dad news I wore my Columbia fleece vest for the first time this fall. Vest season ever.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 3, 2020
Me: Wanna role play?
Wife: Okay.
Me: I'll be mail-in votes and you be a red state and flip-
Wife: no— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 6, 2020
Me, 2010: "I love the open floor plan of this house."
Me, 2020: "Shut up! All of you! I'm on a Zoom!"
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) November 5, 2020
My kids are running around the house yelling "sour cream" and "hide it!", and on the one hand I know they don't have any sour cream…
But on the other hand I'm going to go look around, because kids have taught me that I don't actually know a damn thing
— QuaranTWIN Dad (@DadisGrumpy) November 6, 2020
[loud noise then 7 starts crying]
11: [rushed in] let me tell you exactly what just happened. I didn't do anything
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 6, 2020
Me: kids, you asked if you were planned so I brought Bob Ross to explain
Son: *sighs* is Bob Ross here to tell us we're "happy little accidents"
Me: no
Bob Ross: you're adopted
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) November 5, 2020
Taco Bell: Do you want hot sauce?
Me: [has entire drawers full of hot sauce packets] Yes please
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) November 5, 2020
Me: this day is stressing me…I need a drink.
3yo: here ya go dad *hands me his milk*
Me: got anything stronger?
3yo: yep! MOM CAN YOU GET DAD A CHOCOLATE MILK
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 3, 2020
Autocorrect just tried to change "probably" to "porn Alf.”
Yeah.
That's what I was going for.
Thanks, autocorrect.
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) November 4, 2020
These are the best nachos I’ve ever made. pic.twitter.com/ixFzKiIK5c
— Sooz🇨🇦 (@CruisinSoozan) November 6, 2020
friend: my family doesn't speak to me because of political differences
me: that sounds wonderful
— An English Human (@English_Channel) November 6, 2020
Last night I laid on the ground to watch the stars with my kids, and it was magical until my 4yo kicked me in the throat
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) November 5, 2020
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