Something crazy happened this week. I went into the fridge to grab food and noticed the filtered water pitcher was filled to the top. I knew I didn’t fill the pitcher.
My 10-year-old son, the kid who puts back empty boxes of food, gets sent into the house to get a coat and comes back with everything but a coat, and recently got upset because he didn’t realize a brownie sundae has a brownie in it, filled the pitcher up without being asked.
What exactly are all the signs of Covid? Because it’s the only way I can explain this occurrence.
Walking around the house looking for my coffee that's already in my hand doesn't mean I'm losing my mind.
It means I'm a parent.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 11, 2021
If you shake the TUMS container and two of the same color come out, that’s a Yahtzee.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) March 10, 2021
When we pack for a trip my wife basically moves out.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) March 9, 2021
Note to self: it’s a good idea to keep a spare mask in the car for emergencies.
Added note to self: ok so you don’t need 27 of them.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 3, 2021
Mission Impossible but it’s just me leaning off my bed headfirst to reach the chip clip that’s fallen on the floor
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 11, 2021
“ᴹᵒʳᵉ ᶜʰᵉᵉˢᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”
she whispered, lactose-intolerantly
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 7, 2021
It’s like a game of Marco Polo except it’s my husband shouting “WHERE?!” and I’m shouting “IT’S RIGHT THERE!”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 12, 2021
I don't open the fridge with the intention of getting anything, I just wait for vibes. Let the fridge speak to me.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 12, 2021
why do I overwater my plants but underwater myself
— cella paz (@cellapaz) March 9, 2021
Me: Sometimes I wish I had sons so I didn’t have to listen to you blame me for your boob size.
Daughter: No, he’d complain you gave him manboobs.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 10, 2021
My kids arguing over whether today is Wednesday or Thursday has this Friday feeling like a Monday.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 12, 2021
Want your husband to call you more? Send him to the grocery store alone.
— Satirical Mommy (@MommySatirical) March 7, 2021
Can’t believe it’s already the one year anniversary of when we were all 25 years younger.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 11, 2021
Pregnancy is pretty much the same as group projects in High School.
One person does all the work and heavy lifting, while the other one shows up fifteen minutes late with his coffee and just takes the “A”.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) March 12, 2021
This box of cereal claims to have 7 servings. Bitch, please.
— redyellowgreendance (@RYGdance) March 12, 2021
Me [staring at the milk in the fridge]:
Honey, is the milk still good?
— Hunter the Bounty Dog (@huntergraybeal) March 12, 2021
*Making friends at the playground*
My 6yo: How old are you?
Other kid: I'm 13. What about you?
6yo: Oh I’m almost 13 – I’m 6.
My 4yo: *casually* I’m 15.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 12, 2021
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