My oldest turned 11 years old this week. Time flies. We’re all getting old.
Here are some funny parents to ease the pain of life.
According to a Doritos bag I'm a "Family."
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) March 19, 2021
The cool part about having kids is how they tell you everything you love is shit
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) March 19, 2021
*In my own room, minding my own business, getting dressed*
My 4YO walks in: Oh, good. I’m glad you’re putting your boobs away
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) March 6, 2021
Every time my 6yo draws a picture of me, I find myself drawn to research local plastic surgeons pic.twitter.com/ybRnmUWhy9
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 19, 2021
Lying in bed, thinking someone better get the kids up.
Then remembered that someone is me.
— Chelle (@Chelle_Coops) March 18, 2021
Fifty years ago, if you wanted to see a picture of a raccoon, you either had to already have it or drive to a library. And raccoon in a funny hat? Forget about it.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) March 15, 2021
ME: *falls asleep*
MY BLADDER: it’s go time!
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 17, 2021
Picked my son up from his first day of in-person learning. I asked him how it went.
“My teacher’s bald spot is a lot bigger in person.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 18, 2021
Thanks to Covid, I now remember what my natural hair color is.
— Satirical Mommy (@MommySatirical) March 16, 2021
If I do my job right as a father my kids will never know about slime. They'll be at college one day and some kid will be like, "remember playing with slime when we were kids?" and they'll be like "remember playing with what?"
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 19, 2021
Taylor Swift needs to write a song about the heartache of leaving a grocery list at home.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 18, 2021
Reached the age where I can’t stop recommending my favorite meat thermometer to people?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 18, 2021
my kid asked if she could eat Mac and cheese in the car, and in a stunning display of parenting, I said “no, that’s too messy,” and handed her a yogurt tube instead
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 19, 2021
CDC: Please report any tiredness, soreness, or headaches after receiving the covid vaccine
CDC: Any NEW side effects
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 19, 2021
My 3-year-old seriously broke into the fridge bit ALL the strawberries and ate none. Pretty sure this is illegal.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 13, 2021
i grounded my son, which makes me his only entertainment. so i guess i’m being punished too
— cella paz (@cellapaz) March 19, 2021
Go apologize to your parents for being a shithead teenager. I feel bad for them.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 18, 2021
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