Before jumping into the business at hand, I want to take a second to promote a friend of mine and her new book.
Arianna Bradford – @thenyamproject – has been featured in the funniest tweets and memes posts numerous times before because she’s funny as hell and raw and real. She’s got a new book out – Shame On You: Big Truths from a Bad Mom – and the book is already in the top ten in comedy and top 50 in motherhood on Amazon.
COME BUY MY BOOK
That is to say, it’s available now. Every sweary essay, every big truth. Signed copies are also available. I have more to say but…damn character limit.
Buy on Amazon: https://t.co/GkswzBczBc
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 7, 2020
In this sweary, funny collection of essays, Arianna talks candidly about all of the things we might feel ashamed of, from not always liking our kids to loving to work. It’s time to remember that you aren’t alone in the things that make parenthood hard.
Please pick up a copy and support a friend.
OK, now back to business. I like calling this business. As if I get paid or make money. I’m funny.
Enjoy the funniest parenting tweets and memes from the past week and try to survive the weekend.
It used to bother me that I wasn’t significantly shorter/smaller than my husband until I realized that meant we could legit share clothes.
Pass those size L joggers over here my guy. They’re our pants now.
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) July 10, 2020
I've started serving my kids their meals on these colorful plastic trays. They're easy to clean, keep the different foods from "touching," and prepare them for an inevitable life in prison. pic.twitter.com/9J7fkKyc3c
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 7, 2020
My toddler just had a fit because I touched the thermostat and now I know he just wants to be a dad when he grows up.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 6, 2020
You can die, or you can live long enough to be the one who brings La Croix to a picnic.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 8, 2020
Asking a 17 year old to engage with the fam and go outside once a day to move around is called "controlling her life" who knew this and didn't tell me?
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) July 10, 2020
can't believe nobody is talking about how absurd it is that a baked potato takes like an hour to cook
— james (@videojames_) June 26, 2020
Has anyone tried lighting a fall scented candle to fix 2020 yet?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 8, 2020
Remember when it was February and we went places?
— Virginia McMurdo (@VirginiaMcMurdo) July 9, 2020
Listening to my 9yo talk is exactly like watching an episode of drunk history
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 9, 2020
7: How many calories are in this meal?
Me: Don’t worry about calories buddy you need lots of food to grow
7: Because we’re kids right?
7: But you should probably worry about them right?
Husband: Oh shit
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 9, 2020
I wish I had the same confidence as stores already putting up the Back To School displays
— Kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) July 8, 2020
*5yo brings me 5 ripped up pieces of paper*
5yo: "Here mommy, these are for you."
Me: "What am I supposed to do with these?"
5yo: " I don't know, use your imagination."
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) July 8, 2020
If it involves fake smiling, im not going.
— Rach (@rachel4444) July 5, 2020
My wife got mad at me for buying the family size pack of oreos for just the two of us and I was like are we or are we not a family
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) July 10, 2020
Me: My friend Mary is pregnant.
[10 YEARS LATER]
Husband: Hey, did your friend Mary have her baby?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 9, 2020
My 6-year-old is playing dolls with his little sister and I heard him say “I don’t just like your dress, I love it.”
He’s throwing himself into the role today.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) July 8, 2020
I just looked at my daughter and said ”you're not the boss of me.”
She looked back and we had a good laugh and now I'm going downstairs to get her a snack.
— bipolarmommi (@KarenGiannina6) July 9, 2020
I feel about America the way I feel about my toddler; I have deep, unconditional love for her, but I’m equally sick of her shit and need her to stop acting a fool.
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) July 4, 2020
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