It wasn’t until late Tuesday that I realized this weekend is Memorial Day weekend.
I was both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised.
I’ve been busy working on this website – and working on other websites – and I don’t remember the last time I truly looked at a calendar.
Not long ago, I needed to check the calendar daily.
This quarantine is turning all of us into completely different people.
Thank god we’re all still funny as hell.
Here’s the funniest tweets and memes from parents this week.
If I missed a hilarious tweet or meme, or there’s a parent I should be following, let me know in the comments.
Last night I was struggling to open a soft plastic package and my husband said, “let me do it with my sharp tooth.” He proceeded to aim his sharpest canine tooth and slice open the package in a perfect line.
I just….I just don’t know what to do with this new info.
— Mommy Meme Jeans (@mommymemejeans) May 20, 2020
The amount of energy my kids have in the morning is directly proportional to the lack of energy I have. Coincidence, I think not.
— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) May 20, 2020
Me: I want to be just like you! What’s your secret?
Successful person: Well first I get up at 5:00 every morning-
Me: Yeah fuck that never mind you ain’t so great
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 20, 2020
I may be doing a lot of quarantine baking, but I won't make sour dough. The whole making a starter and feeding it thing is way more commitment than I am willing to make for a sandwich.
I can barely remember to feed my kids every day.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) May 19, 2020
My parenting style during quarantine has changed from “are you ok, is anyone hurt” to “unless you’re hitting each other with bricks I’m not getting up”.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) May 19, 2020
With many traditional summer activities cancelled my kids are excited for more time to dedicate to leaving the door open.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 20, 2020
This morning I found some peanut butter in the jelly jar so let’s just say the next family meeting is going to be tense.
— Just J (@junejuly12) May 21, 2020
My 4yo used the phrase “a long time ago today” to describe the morning and it’s probably the most accurate description I’ve ever heard.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 17, 2020
I miss the good old days when my kid going to Chuck-E-Cheese was the only time I worried about them catching some weird new disease.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) May 19, 2020
“Can I lick your eyeball?” and other sweet nothings my child says to me at bedtime.
— The Stinkerbell (@thestinkerbell_) May 18, 2020
I’ve made peace with a lot of our new lifestyle changes. I can accept that this is the way things have to be for awhile. But having Target inform me that hair removal strips cannot be picked up today is where I draw the line.
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) May 21, 2020
My children wanted to play restaurant and are very upset because I told them my place does not allow kids
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 3, 2020
ME: "Hey, Siri, play the '70s soft rock station."
SIRI: "Tell me who hurt you."
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) May 19, 2020
I really miss my son texting me from school to let me know he didn’t like what I put in his lunch.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 21, 2020
Me: I love the swim-up bar at this resort!
Husband: you’re in the bath and you’re drunk again
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) May 15, 2020
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