Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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Me: *breathes*
My daughter: OMG stop you’re so embarrassing
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) April 11, 2024
No, Yakety Sax stays on during sex.
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) April 9, 2024
How do i delete someone else's Facebook page
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) April 10, 2024
Me: *workout nearly every day. Count calories for four months. Lose 7lbs.*
Him: *gets back injury. Lies in bed for 10 days. Lose 15lbs.*
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 10, 2024
My 4yo is playing with her friends, and I just overheard one of them say, "the mama needs coffee or she's gonna blow."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 7, 2024
My 4yo tonight while I was folding laundry: this house has everything! Food, clothes, a TV, toys, dishes, a couch, drawers, windows, doors, my bed. I love it here!
I promise this house is nothing fancy, but what perspective 🫶
— Parenting Presently (The Mom Hack) (@presentparent_) April 7, 2024
Me to 13yo: How was school? How was your day?
13yo: Okay.Me: How was that video game you were playing?
*13yo talks about it in detail for the next hour*— Hollie Harris (@allholls) April 9, 2024
Cake is always appropriate because it's somebody's birthday somewhere.
— Wisecracking Blonde (@RoobsC) April 4, 2024
I love nobody has serious account names.
You’ll get some inspirational quote from an account called “Pepperoni Dog Fart Supreme”
— Kelly (@kelly__le) April 11, 2024
Is it my whole brain or just the ADHD part telling me I can't answer emails on my laptop right now because I don't have my mouse because I sure can type stuff out on my phone with no problem, clearly
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 10, 2024
If Grade 3 math homework has taught my daughter anything it’s that I don’t understand Grade 3 math.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 10, 2024
I strive to have as many fucks to give as a goose that makes it’s nest in the middle of an asphalt parking lot…cuz fuck you that’s why
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) April 10, 2024
Not to brag or anything, but I can cause a tantrum just by giving my kid exactly what he asked for.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) April 11, 2024
my 8yr old daughter has to touch 3 cats before she can do anything.
we only have two cats.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 3, 2024
I tell so many dad jokes that I’m convinced I am going to be an excellent father one day
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) April 5, 2024
I’ll jump off that bridge when we get there.
— Not Hot. Not Bothered. (@hunbothered) April 9, 2024
I told him we have stairs and he said he likes stairs
-my kid, really selling this playdate to his friend
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 10, 2024
This dude asked me out on a first date and suggested we could get together for a drink at 11pm after his hockey game but also wants me to believe he’s not a hook up guy
This is why women are choosing to live with cats, fellas
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) April 10, 2024
Me: if we stay on budget for the next few months we’ll be back on track
My bathroom pipes: good plan, right after you fix this leak
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 9, 2024
If I were to do a mad lib with my 3yo he would choose the word butthole to fill every blank
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) April 10, 2024
Rule #27 of marriage is clear: Dessert that is mine is only mine; dessert that is his is also mine.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) April 9, 2024
If anyone needs an expert on thinking they are in the wrong even though they know they’re not, I am highly skilled at this. I think.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) April 10, 2024
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