Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
***
Parents who cheat in the school dropoff line are raising kids that don’t return shopping carts, I just know it.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 7, 2024
I burned my boob with cigarette ash and other stories: a memoir
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) April 3, 2024
Workout in the morning so you can feel like you’re better than everyone else.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 3, 2024
I thought I needed therapy, but then I listened to 20 one-hit wonders from the 90s and now I'm fine.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 2, 2024
Last night I told my 4yo if we went to sleep, we could hang out all night in “Dreamland.” This morning she told me she saw me in Dreamland and rehashed everything we did. Tonight she was so excited to meet up again in Dreamland.
Did I just figure out this bedtime thing?
— Parenting Presently (The Mom Hack) (@presentparent_) March 28, 2024
I'm like if a Furby had chronic anxiety
— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) April 2, 2024
I can sing every word of “Ice Ice Baby” at the drop of a hat, but ask me what I just walked in this room for & I’ve got nothing.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) April 2, 2024
What's the opposite of dainty? Is it honkin'? Ginorm? Clumsy? Big ol'? I think I gotta go with honkin' even though my Goog of honkin' earrings isn't hitting on much
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 4, 2024
No, I'm sorry I can't remember that very important thing because my brain is full of song lyrics from every song ever written from 1995 to 2005.
— Wisecracking Blonde (@RoobsC) April 2, 2024
I can have a clean house or I can keep my kids off screens, you can’t have it both ways Karen!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 4, 2024
“If you like living in a house and eating food you’ll hurry up so I can get to work” and other damaging things that fall out of my mouth some mornings.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 2, 2024
Ok, well maybe some of you "hottest at 30-something"s can tell me where I'm supposed be shopping for clothes at 36 and with my once size 6, now size 12 mom-bod since you all seemed to have found yourself and I have no style anymore!! (beyond legging-chic)
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 3, 2024
Sharing a bed w/ your spouse is great but not as great as when they get up earlier than you so then you can finally morph into full starfish like the sea hag you were meant to be
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 29, 2024
Not to brag but my anxiety is off the charts today
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) April 3, 2024
I wore bleach stains before they were cool. Because my mom sucked at laundry.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) April 3, 2024
It’s weird to interrupt a woman in the middle of her workout to tell her you think she has a great body even if the point of working out is to have a great body
Follow me for more tips on how not to be a total creep at the gym
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) April 1, 2024
my 8yr old daughter has to touch 3 cats before she can do anything.
we only have two cats.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 3, 2024
Kind humans should be protected at all costs (especially if they’re kind and funny)
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) April 3, 2024
Don’t stress about getting the house clean if you’ve got people over today. Saying “imagine it clean though” saves a lot of time.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) March 31, 2024
Husband: Where are you going?
Me: I have to run a quick errand.
Husband: You're going to the store to buy dessert and eat it in the car so you don’t have to share it with the kids?
Me: Maybe.
Husband: Let me grab my wallet.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) April 3, 2024
me: I just don't have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you
box of plastic wrap:
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 3, 2024
0 comments on “45 Funniest Memes + Jokes From Moms This Week”