Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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Petition to replace the basketball unit in gym class with a lesson called “perfecting your aim when throwing things into the trash”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 18, 2023
If I had a newborn, I’d be pissed if a little drummer boy showed up and started a drum solo.
— Burning Mom (@MomOnFire) December 20, 2023
The people who get their Christmas shopping done early never get to experience the look on someone’s face when they open your gift of a Walgreens brand blood pressure monitor.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 20, 2023
You worked 40 hours this week, so please enjoy the next 48 hours of chores and errands.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) December 15, 2023
PMS will take any ounce of holiday joy you were feeling and flush it down the toilet.
— themomessence (@themomessence) December 19, 2023
Being a parent is hard but after you put the kids to bed and you lie down and all your muscles just give up and sink into your bed and you become a motionless void. Whew, nothing like it. Like taking off a whole body bra.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 19, 2023
just shut the fuck up already and get in my blanket fort, i have tater tots.
— Nadine Antoinette 🌊🖤 (@Lilblack_heart) December 5, 2023
My niece came over and said “your tree is so small,” and now I know how men feel.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) December 21, 2023
i’m intermittent fasting so i have to finish this carrot cake really quick before 5 pm
— nika (@nikalamity) December 20, 2023
I opened a new package of Oreos and ate half of it which is bad because now I need to eat the other half and bury the empty package in the garbage, or my family will know that I ate half a package of Oreos in one night
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 20, 2023
Me out Christmas shopping:
“Don’t buy it for yourself, don’t buy it for yourself, don’t buy it for yourself.”
Buys it for myself.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2023
The best thing about FaceTiming with my parents is being able to turn down the volume
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) December 20, 2023
This kindergarten christmas concert has the same energy as my work meetings this week, half the kids don't know the words, 4 are yawning, 3 are bored out of their minds, 2 can't stop laughing, and 1 is crying
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 21, 2023
One day you’re young & carefree & the next you have anxiety about where to park.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) December 20, 2023
Honestly, You've Got Mail hits a little different when you own a small business. Meg Ryan, you are going to let Tom Hanks ruin you and your mother's adorable perfect local shop and life's work for another Fox Books megastore? And then sleep with him? Girl NO
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) December 20, 2023
The Three Wise Men are like the single, kid free uncles at a kid's birthday party who bring gifts that aren't age appropriate or hand out money.
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) December 20, 2023
My friend asked for suggestions for something short and funny to watch so I suggested my 12yo son.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 18, 2023
Well, we just put out the negativity scene.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) December 14, 2023
This is PSA to never move the car seats. Just don’t do it. You’re not gonna like what you find down there.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) December 21, 2023
There is a clock on the wall in my classroom and my high school students keep asking me what time it is because they can't tell time in analog happy Wednesday.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 20, 2023
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