Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
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There's a drawer with 4 shirts I still wear sitting on top of 11 shirts I'll never wear again.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 20, 2023
[Doing my kids’ laundry]
6yo: Daddy, when I grow up, I want to get married so I can have my husband do the laundry.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 20, 2023
Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not having a midlife crisis it’s just Thursday.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) December 21, 2023
The mcrib is like that divorced father that shows up out of the blue and makes it seem exciting and then you turn your back and it's like a year before you hear from it again
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) December 16, 2023
If someone shows up at my house with kinetic sand as gifts for my kids I’m whooping every adults ass in the room.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) December 20, 2023
Going into the blue medical tent for my severely bruised ego
— Jason Not Evil (@JasonNotEvil) December 18, 2023
The population of Ireland’s capital city is really growing…
In fact, it’s Dublin.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) December 21, 2023
My daughter asked me how to begin her letter to Santa Claus so I suggested she start with, “Hear me out …”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 14, 2023
My 9yo at Christmas time is so much fun because we get to hear renditions of Christmas songs like Silent Fart, Farting Around the Christmas Tree, and my personal favorite, Frosty the Fartman.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 20, 2023
While playing football with my kids
Me: ok, I like your energy and enthusiasm, but before you say "hike," the word you're actually supposed to say is "hutt" with a "h" and not a "b"
My 6yo: 😑
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) December 18, 2023
Guys just relax, women really mean it when they say, “No Christmas gifts this year”
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 19, 2023
Today my 7 year-old asked if 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer' was based on a true story, and to be honest, I said yes, and the car went very quiet.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) December 21, 2023
[in the car]
Me: whatcha thinking about?
8: joe
Me: huh? Joe who
8: joe momma
Me: dammit.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 19, 2023
When I was a kid we couldn't play a song on demand, we had to call some guy at a radio station and ask him to play it and then we'd listen for hours and hours and held in our pee so we didn't miss it before finally losing hope in humanity and going to sleep.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 21, 2023
Stay strong dads, we're just days away from the best afternoon nap of the year
— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@Cafeinated_Dad) December 20, 2023
That awkward moment when you thought your wife wanted to give you a hug good night, but instead she was just reaching for her tablet.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 16, 2023
My wife is getting tired of me saying “Baby, it’s cold outside” every time she asks what the temperature is
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) December 20, 2023
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