Welcome to the newest collection of the funniest mom memes and tweets.
Enjoy this collection of mom jokes, puns, memes, and regular old rants from some funny-as-hell mommas.
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My 13yo likes to remind me that he's taller than me, and I like to remind him I'm the one who signs his permission slips to do the fun things at school.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) May 2, 2024
Don't eat Domino's after 40. You'll die.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 26, 2024
I don’t know if I should be happy that my husband has already purchased something for Mother’s Day, or angry because I haven’t yet
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 30, 2024
I asked a middle child who was watching my kid’s soccer what activities she does and she said “I do A LOT – I go to my brother’s baseball my other brother’s swimming and my brother’s hockey and my other brother’s soccer…”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 29, 2024
It’s really nice and maybe a little sad how a little slice of cheese can really change the course of my day
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 27, 2024
It was a fairly ordinary bedtime with my 4yo until I heard myself tell her “When I was a little girl, phones were attached to walls with a cord” and now I’m gonna need a minute
— Parenting Presently (The Mom Hack) (@presentparent_) April 4, 2024
I have nothing in common with people who forget to eat.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) May 2, 2024
I know it's a tough time right now but imagine being born before potatoes were a thing. That would be so much worse.
— Wisecracking Blonde (@RoobsC) April 29, 2024
Online dating is exciting assuming you think it’s exciting to find out what a bunch of random strangers did for fun this weekend
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) April 29, 2024
Kind of rude how life costs so much money all the time.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) May 1, 2024
I love how “have the day you deserve” has replaced “bless your heart,” as the official code for “Go Fuck Yourself.”
— Not Hot. Not Bothered. (@hunbothered) April 24, 2024
Me in my 20s: how much drugs is too much drugs?
Me in my 30s: can I overdose on ginger???
— Leen McBeans ꪜ (@LeenMcBeans) April 30, 2024
I just we have coffee at home'd myself, do not recommend
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 2, 2024
Me: *notices the tooth paste is low and buys a new tube.
Also me: *somehow makes that old tube last three more months.
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) May 1, 2024
My husband just spent 10 minutes looking for a baseball hat that was on his head. I would have said something, except where's the fun in that?
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) May 1, 2024
A clown car but it’s just my child pulling rocks out of his pocket.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) May 1, 2024
At the zoo w/ tired legs and not one mfer has offered me a piggyback ride…Being an adult is a complete carnival of crap.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) May 1, 2024
Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 1, 2024
LISTEN TO CHILDREN pic.twitter.com/EELX5ieo6w
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) May 1, 2024
The amount of my spit I randomly choke to death on for no reason is getting out of hand.
— Kelly (@kelly__le) April 30, 2024
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