Parenting Tip #327 – Coloring Will Give You The Eye Twitches

Daddy, let’s color.

OK

You color this picture. I don’t care if it’s not the one you wanted.

Why did you use those colors? Use these colors.

That’s not the eyeshadow Cinderella uses! Do you pay ANY attention to the princesses?!?

Can I draw a giant line over everything you’ve done? It will be MASSIVE AND BLACK but very tasteful.

Here you finish coloring mine but just know however you chose to finish the picture IT WILL BE WRONG AND I WILL REACT WITHSCREAMS.

Daddy, let’s do Play-Doh. Your eye twitches are freaking me out.

Coloring isn’t therapy unless it’s an adult coloring book. Anything else is torture.

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(Passes you a note in the grocery store written in crayon. It says SAVE ME.) **LINK TO NEW POST IN MY BIO** #parenthood #notes #kids#summer

A post shared by Chris Illuminati (@messagewithabottle) on Aug 2, 2017 at 8:34am PDT

It’s torture and my captor is 4 years old and constantly has pink-stained fingers. Even if she hasn’t colored for days.

Ten minutes into coloring and I start to go numb, get eye twitches, speak in half sentences.

The entire ordeal is maddening.

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