coloring-with-kids parenting note #327
Just The Notes

Parenting Note #327- Coloring Will Give You The Eye Twitches

Coloring isn't therapy.

Daddy, let’s color.


You color this picture. I don’t care if it’s not the one you wanted.

Why did you use those colors? Use these colors.

That’s not the eyeshadow Cinderella uses! Do you pay ANY attention to the princesses?!?

Can I draw a giant line over everything you’ve done? It will be MASSIVE AND BLACK but very tasteful.

Here you finish coloring mine but just know however you chose to finish the picture IT WILL BE WRONG AND I WILL REACT WITHSCREAMS.

Daddy, let’s do Play-Doh. Your eye twitches are freaking me out.

Coloring isn’t therapy unless it’s an adult coloring book. Anything else is torture.

It’s torture and my captor is 4 years old and constantly has pink-stained fingers. Even if she hasn’t colored for days.

Ten minutes into coloring and I start to go numb, get eye twitches, speak in half sentences.

The entire ordeal is maddening.


  1. Parenting Note #320- School’s Out For Summer (Or Until They Piss Me Off)
  2. Parenting Note #321 – The Emotional Ride Of Sleepovers
  3. Parenting Note #322 – Sunscreen Is Equal To Torture
  4. Parenting Note #323 – Books Are Just Words
  5. Parenting Note #325 – A Summer Break From You
  6. Parenting Note #326 – Make Them Do The Things They Hate

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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at

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