Just The Notes

Parenting Tip #320 – School’s Out For Summer (Or Until They Piss Me Off)

The great thing about the kids being so young is that they’ve got zero idea how school actually works. For example, The Kid believes sending him to school in the summer is actually an option. He also believes that school is open on his day’s off.

“KEEP PISSING ME OFF AND I’LL SEND YOU TO SCHOOL TODAY!” He thinks that’s a possibility.

The 4-year-old believes her school is open at all times of day and night. If she’s acting out, I threaten to drop her off and not pick her up until dinner time.

I realize it’s probably an awful idea to use school as a threat or punishment but, well, school does suck and if it gets the both of them to stop pouring maple syrup on themselves in the middle of IHOP, so fucking be it.

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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at cilluminati@gmail.com.

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