Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
getting older isn't so bad. i'm 40 and i don't feel a day over 73.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) September 8, 2023
Offered my 13 y/o daughter a vitamin and she asked if it would give her “nausea, heart disease or possible lung failure?“ Thanks for looking out for our kids with those commercial disclaimers, drug companies.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 29, 2023
According to my retirement plan, I can call it quits somewhere around when the sun enters Supernova
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) September 7, 2023
Including “Leave a tip: 15% 18% or 22%” in my email signature.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) September 8, 2023
Me: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!?!?!??!?!!!
Wife: [already pulling out of driveway]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 7, 2023
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) September 7, 2023
My wife asked why I spend more time preparing for fantasy football than I spent planning our wedding, and apparently that wasn’t the best time to explain my amazing draft strategy.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) September 6, 2023
I said something was "fire," and my wife said I'm too old to use that phrase.
Being an adult sucks.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 6, 2023
*My kids causing chaos in my bedroom*
Me: Alright, enough! Please get out of this bedroom.
5YO: But why? This is mommy’s bedroom.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) September 7, 2023
7yo: I have a headache. Can you sit with me til I fall asleep?
Me: Sure, bud.
7yo: So when I die, will I come back?
Me: Now I see why you have a headache.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 24, 2023
A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) September 6, 2023