Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
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I don't know when it happened but I now run like I forgot how to run.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) July 13, 2023
Getting ready for our vacation and my 8yo has only packed beach toys. I asked what the rest of the space in his bag is for and he said airport snacks.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 12, 2023
My daughter is protesting the next stage of life after going through “the talk” at school, “Puberty is unfair. Boys get stronger, we just get to have babies.” The line for the 6th Grade revolution forms on the right.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 13, 2023
Seems we’ve skipped the my dad can beat up your dad phase and jumped right into the daddy’s a fatty fatty mcnatty phase.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 13, 2023
I won $4 in PowerBall last night so if you need me I’ll be drafting up my resignation letter.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 13, 2023
Wife: Can you see if we have any pork chops in the freezer?
Me: Why can’t you?
Wife: If I do it, I’ll look for 2 mins, not be able to find them, and you’ll have to look anyway, so this way is quicker
Me: *heavy sigh*
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 8, 2023
My wife asked our 10YO to take out the trash from the bathroom. My 10YO took out the trash and the trash can. She is ready to become a husband now.
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 12, 2023
I was sitting on the couch and had both kids snuggled on top of me. They must have thought I was mommy or something.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 10, 2023
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees.
He counted and gave me 13.
“Sir, you gave me an extra."
"That's a freebie."
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) July 9, 2023
Got excited because I thought my wife bought ice cream at the store.
Eye cream. It was eye cream.— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 12, 2023
My 5yo said he wanted to eat out at the beaver store on the way home and I was like “me too, buddy” then my wife elbowed me and reminded me that “he meant bucees, dumbass.”
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) July 8, 2023
Just used my kids dirty sock to wipe up the juice he spilled on himself, in front of a clearly disgusted rival dad who was using wet wipes on his son. lmao get in your limo and go back to Beverly Hills Spencer.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) July 10, 2023
I had no idea how much of ‘for better or for worse’ would consist of me helping my wife find her phone
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) July 11, 2023
normal dads wake their kids up with a nudge and a "good morning". today i woke mine when my office door closed on my heal and took a chunk of my heel with it and i fell in agony while yelling "F*CK OMG".
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 13, 2023
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