Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest mom memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
“Right behind my owner seems like a good place to stand.” – every pet
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) January 12, 2023
Based on how much effort my kids put into finding anything before declaring it lost, a nursing home may be the safest place for me in my old age.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 10, 2023
My wife still brings up that one time in 2015 I complained to her about being unable to fall asleep while she was in labor
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 11, 2023
Visiting this KFC is on my bucket list. pic.twitter.com/w8saY4KH3B
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) January 6, 2023
If you remember being excited when Lucky Charms introduced red balloons, it’s time to take your hormone pill
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 12, 2023
20s: I never forget a face
40s: I never remember a face
— Mike (@Parentpains) January 10, 2023
Instead of punishing my son by sending him to his room full of toys and an iPad, I have decided he must sit at the dinner table every night with his parents and tell us about his day. We'll see who doesn't eat his green beans next time.
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) January 10, 2023
welcome to your 40's. If it's raining out your plans are cancelled even if they were indoors.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 12, 2023
I’d love to see a cooking show where the chef attempts to cook an intricate dish while their toddler “helps” them
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) January 11, 2023
Someone once told me their whole family sits down to breakfast together and frankly that sounds horrifying
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) January 13, 2023
Marriage is driving around and announcing gas prices to one another.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 12, 2023
Every conversation with a child getting ready for school in the winter ends with a parent yelling, "FINE, THEN FREEZE."
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 12, 2023
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway. Cannoli do so much.
Now he’s just a pizza history
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) January 11, 2023
some of you haven’t had to de-poop a bathtub & rewash a baby & it shows
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) January 13, 2023
My wife called and asked me to get the chicken thighs out of the freezer. I told her we don’t have any chicken thighs in the freezer so she said she’d check when she gets home- your thoughts and prayers are appreciated
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) January 13, 2023