Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My wife bought new shoes for work, but she had to buy another pair because the first pair were "too cute for work."
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) February 23, 2023
A woman at the gym wouldn’t let me wipe down the machine for her after I’d used it. I think this means we’re engaged
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 23, 2023
My toddler looked so cute hugging her doll. She cradled it in her arms and looked at it lovingly. Then she grabbed it by the ankle and threw it at me.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) February 22, 2023
I got an earbud rubber piece lodged deep into my ear canal today and had to go to urgent care.
0 stars do not recommend.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 24, 2023
Me, talking to other parents: in spite of his young age he's actually very mature
My 6 year-old, in the other room playing Roblox: KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND TAKE HIS APPLES
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) February 23, 2023
My wife likes to let the dog in to wake up our teenagers in the morning, so won’t be long until they have a favorite parent
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 22, 2023
Lethal Weapon came out in 1987.
Danny Glover was born in 1946.
That means he was 41 when he said he was too old for this shit.
I want you to think about that.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) February 23, 2023
I'm on a diet so I can fit into my snow pants.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 23, 2023
How do farmers party?
They turnip the beets.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) February 24, 2023
My 11 y/o daughter just read a children’s book about the Great Depression and would like the record to reflect that she felt cheated because “there was nothing ‘Great’ about it.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 23, 2023
Why isn’t "gasoline fumes" a scented candle option?
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) February 23, 2023
sorry I’m late was looking for the remote my kids said they didn’t touch
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) February 21, 2023
Yesterday I cut one of my thumbs opening a box and cut the other thumb while cleaning a pair of scissors, so if you need any handiwork done please, for the love of God, ask someone else.
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) February 21, 2023
Good morning to everyone except the restaurants still using QR code menus
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 24, 2023