Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
My wife can make "Can you come in here please?" sound completely terrifying.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) March 9, 2023
My wife told me she slept well last night after she punched me a couple times.
Me: Because I was snoring?
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) March 9, 2023
I told my 5yo that his teacher wouldn’t like me sending my kid to school with a lollipop for lunch and my son said it’d be okay and that I need to stand up for myself
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) March 10, 2023
8 put his phone in my room last night. he had set a midnight alarm and a 5 am alarm. he had a good life.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 9, 2023
When you arrive in Hell they have your Grade 8 graduation photo and Google search history for the last decade shown on the universe's biggest Jumbotron
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) March 10, 2023
When my wife comes home, she loves it when the dog runs up to her, jumps up and licks her face, but when I do it, "it's weird." Whatever.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 6, 2023
My kid wanted a name for his paper airplane business. I suggested Soarigami. He decided to go with Just Plane Crazy. I hope it fails.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) March 7, 2023
Wife and I sexting from opposite sides of the couch. pic.twitter.com/DNEc263iJ8
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 10, 2023
The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn’t share the flatbread recipe
Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) March 7, 2023
My 11 y/o was having the cutest hysterical giggling fit and when I asked her what was so funny all she could get out was “your face” in case anyone is waiting around for those precious moments that make parenting worthwhile.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 6, 2023
Sure, sex is fun, but do you remember that feeling of walking into a toy store as a kid?
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) March 9, 2023
grandma: tell me when ur buckled
grandma: are u buckled yet?
6: …mommy usually doesn’t wait for us to be buckled
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) March 8, 2023
Oh no, my two year old discovered her butt…
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) March 3, 2023
Twitter will stop going down once it gets married
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 6, 2023
Let me know if I missed your favorite dad’s tweet, joke, or meme this week!
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