Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
If my wife and I did a cooking show together it would just be her repeatedly saying I'm in her way.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) March 24, 2023
I mowed the grass before a huge storm, and now my wife gets to hear me say “Good thing I mowed when I did!” all weekend
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) March 24, 2023
Nobody warns you that when you have kids that you suddenly become an event planner
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) March 23, 2023
I just told my wife that she has no idea how annoying it is to have to do the dishes every day and I’m not sure what exactly that noise that she made was, but I know it’s not good for me
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) March 24, 2023
Me: (making my protein shake)
8: what are you doin?
Me: making my shake.
Me: because it makes me strong.
8: no it doesn't.
Me: I am.
8: no you're not.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 24, 2023
Today I was on a work call presenting some PowerPoint slides and someone said "You sure do love PowerPoint" and I said "just call me Bob Vila cuz im out here building decks" and a total of zero people laughed but that's showbiz baby
— 🍁Yukon Cornelius (@GrahamKritzer) March 22, 2023
Spring time is great because my 7YO finally gets rid of her fall leaf collection, and starts her rock collection
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 24, 2023
My preteen daughters noticed I started using reading glasses and have decided it requires them to incessantly mock me every time I wear them but it’s all good because I’ll “miss these days when they’re grown up.”
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 24, 2023
apologies to the curbside delivery agent who read my car details as ‘honda potty’
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) March 24, 2023
Me: You need to get out more with your friends.
Child: Well, they're going to the mall. Can you drop m-
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 25, 2023
The funny thing about music is that you could know every lyric to song and be completely clueless to what those lyrics actually mean
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) March 25, 2023
Dolphin baby: How did you and Mom meet?
Dolphin Dad: we met in school.
Dolphin Mom: Don’t…
Dolphin Dad: And we just clicked
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) March 24, 2023
As my kid left for school, he didn’t say anything to me, but he told the dog he loved him. Nice to see where I rate.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 24, 2023
Pretty sure if I were a billionaire I’d still sneak candy into the theater.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) March 24, 2023