Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
When a Seinfeld fan drops a Seinfeld reference and it's picked up by another Seinfeld fan with a Seinfeld reference it's better than a big salad.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) May 18, 2023
I was up at 3:30am today and now I am required by Dad Law to bring it up in every single conversation at work today
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) May 16, 2023
Marriage is your spouse saying “I don’t like this show anymore” and then you just never find out how it ends
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 17, 2023
People say that as you get older that you’ll party less than you used to. Me? I go to way more parties now than I ever did in my 20s. Sure, the parties are for kindergarteners, but there’s pizza and coffee for the parents so the parties are still pretty lit.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) May 16, 2023
You have to be careful what you say to children, my daughter just thanked me for answering a question honestly and when I said “I’m usually honest” it turned into an entire q&a session to determine what I’ve lied about in the past
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) May 15, 2023
Geography teacher asked if I could name a country with no R in it.
I said, "No way."
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) May 16, 2023
Me: I feel great today.
Pollen: give it a minute
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 17, 2023
My 5yo asked me where his shoes were and when I told him I didn’t know he told me “that’s not a good enough answer daddy” so where is he keeping all that audacity?
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) May 13, 2023
There’s always that one parent who gets up to leave as soon as their kid’s part of the music recital is done.
Sorry, Chad, if I have to stay until the end, you do too.
LOCK THE DOORS
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 19, 2023
Keep up or get left behind is our theme park family motto.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 13, 2023
Parenting is sneaking in to kiss your kids when they’re asleep, and sneaking out to curse when they’re awake
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 18, 2023
Last night at dinner my mom asked my 6 year-old son what 10 + 10 was and this child of whom we are all very fond, counted out on his fingers and then replied 'your mom'.
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) May 17, 2023
I have been coming up with passwords for 26 years. i'm OUT of passwords ffs. this is madness.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 18, 2023
Chances a married couple gets divorced: 50%
Chances a person changes their favorite sports team: <1%
Married couples should wear colorful uniforms and have mascots.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 12, 2023
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