Welcome to the latest installment of the week’s funniest dad memes and tweets.
Grab a seat and enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
A game show where contestants race to put shoes on a kid but one shoe is under the couch and the other is in a mud puddle out back and who knows where the fuck the kid is.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) May 31, 2023
hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 1, 2023
Who needs a chiropractor when you can just fly to Orlando and go on Space Mountain
— 🍁Graham Kritzer (@GrahamKritzer) May 26, 2023
My 2nd grader got a second chance to take her math test on fractions. So now both of us are taking online classes on fractions
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 2, 2023
6: how do you spell once?
6: how do you spell upon?
6: how do you spell-
Me: what are you doing?
6: writing a story. how do you spell…
It’s going to be a long weekend.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 27, 2023
Doesn’t matter how many times I ask my teenager to get things ready the night before, he will always be scrambling for something at the last minute
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 31, 2023
What were you doing 4 days ago?
-my 10yo daughter and future detective, apparently
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) May 28, 2023
I knew today was gonna be a shit show when 5yo came down stairs with cotton candy in one hand and a ring pop in the other hand. And I was right.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) May 29, 2023
Me: It's "National Leave the Office Early Day."
Boss: It's 9 AM.
Me [pulling out of parking lot]: I DON'T MAKE THE RULES MIKE
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 2, 2023
If you give a toddler a chocolate croissant then you should fully expect their face to be covered in chocolate. This is a lesson I learned the hard way. Multiple times.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) June 2, 2023
I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.
I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture they said “yes”.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) May 24, 2023
If you have a family, you know that anywhere can be a recycling bin:
Middle of the floor ✅
By the door ✅
Bottom of the stairs ✅
Next to the recycling bin ✅
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 1, 2023
My wife said I'm a bad whistler.
Or was it listener?
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) June 2, 2023
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