Welcome to the latest installment of the funniest dad memes and tweets of the week.
Please enjoy this collection of dad jokes, puns, memes, and rants from some funny AF dads.
Me: Can you open the windows upstairs?
12yo: No problem *yells at his brother upstairs to open the windows*
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 14, 2022
9 out of 10 toddlers think whatever you’re making for dinner is gross
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 14, 2022
My wife wants us to go to Kohl's so she can spend her $10 Kohl's cash before it expires.
I told her I'll give her $20 if I can stay home.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) July 15, 2022
Adulting is constantly planning to do things but never having the energy to do them
— Mike (@Parentpains) July 13, 2022
"Do you think Richie Rich's real name is Richard Richard?" and other bedtime musings by my 5 year-old son.
— 🍁Yukon Gold (@GrahamKritzer) July 12, 2022
In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Get Beat Up For Sarcastically Playing A Slide Whistle When People Say Stupid Things
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) July 14, 2022
My 4-year-old introduced me to his new imaginary friend. When I asked what happened to his other imaginary friend, he said, "oh, she's dead." Kids are creepy.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 10, 2022
After a week at Sports Camp, my 10 y/o is able to tell me in great detail what was served for lunch every day but can’t recall all of the sports she learned so I guess we’ll be halting those plans for an athletic scholarship.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) July 15, 2022
I don't like that my kids waste enough dinner to feed a full grown adult. Specifically me, tomorrow, at lunch.
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) July 14, 2022
Parenting is enjoying the time you get to watch a Disney movie with your kids. All 237 times.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) July 13, 2022
Me: how’s summer camp going?
my 7yo: Well I think our camp leader is trying really hard but he’s a little too nice which allows the kids to be kinda bad
Follow me for more of my 7yo’s job performance reviews
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 13, 2022
If you've never said, "I need a vacation after that vacation" congratulations on not having children.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 14, 2022
The way my kids use toothpaste they’ll never have a cavity in their bathroom sink
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 11, 2022
When your teen (staring at their phone) responds with “How am I supposed to know what time it is?”
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 15, 2022
7yo: I want one of those things that goes fast on the water.
Me: A jet ski?
7yo: It's not a ski. You sit on it.
Me: It's called a jet ski.
7yo: That's stupid.
— Adam Gaylord 🌻🐛🍻 (@AuthorGaylord) July 15, 2022