Just The Notes

Parenting Tip #315 – New Dogs Can Learn Old Tricks

The house has hiding places. There’s nowhere to camouflage yourself inside a moving vehicle.

“Dad!”

“Dad isn’t here. I’m a hologram programmed to drive the car and look like your father. Your dad is riding underneath the car. We might have lost him on that last speed bump though. We’ll find out when we get to lacrosse practice.”

The car was once a place for silence and reflection and occasionally to blast Biggie with the windows down on a nice day.

Now it’s close quarters for the kids to go to war, pump the volume up on their Kindles to drown everyone else out or the time to ask dad questions about Minecraft that he’s got NO FUCKING IDEA as to the answer.

I drive fast, not because I’m eager to get to my destination, but because I just want to get the hell out of the car.

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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at cilluminati@gmail.com.

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