Most of the country is still living the quarantine life.
From folding cereal boxes to giving classic kid’s books the coronavirus makeover, parents are surviving any way possible.
One thing many parents are doing is being funny as hell on Instagram and Twitter.
Way better than the typical dad jokes – here are the funniest tweets, memes, and jokes from parents this week.
(first tweet image from the hilarious @MissHavisham)
My son is refusing to do his geography homework because we’re never going anywhere ever again, therefore he doesn’t need to know about other places.
I’m having a hard time disputing his logic.
— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) April 29, 2020
Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I can’t listen to your problems right now.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) May 15, 2020
Thoughts and prayers for my kid who was told he has to shower and brush his teeth.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) May 14, 2020
People only hear what they want to hear. For example, when my husband told me he was golfing today I heard, “sure honey, go ahead and buy whatever you want from the Nordstrom spring sale.”
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) May 13, 2020
Every morning at 4:00 AM, a bird loudly chirps right outside my window. It’s pitch black outside. After a minute or two, another bird squawks at the chirpper to shut the fuck up.
Those birds are a metaphor of my life, except the the first bird actually listened.
— Lessons from the Minivan (@FromMinivan) May 12, 2020
Me: Maybe I should go to bed at a decent hour so I'm not such a grumpy, borderline comatose bitch tomorrow.
Internet article: Remember How There Are Mites Living In Your Eyelashes?
Me: Binge-scrolling until 3 a.m. it is.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 29, 2020
My neighbor needs to get a better router.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 12, 2020
"Are you really going to have another drink?" & other ridiculous things my husband says.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 13, 2020
An OnlyFans page, but it’s just vids of Olive Garden breadsticks.
— Mommy Meme Jeans (@mommymemejeans) May 14, 2020
Last night we read a book about a baby duck searching for his mama. Eventually they find each other and it’s all very sweet but my 3yo kept wanting to know “where is the daddy duck?”
And before I even had a chance he answered his own question by saying “he’s probably pooping.”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 14, 2020
If you have recently uttered the words “Yes, you still need to flush, even in a pandemic,” you might be a parent.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) May 14, 2020
my family is playing that game of "who's gonna break down and do the laundry" for 3 months now, I'm wearing twigs, the fur of a possum I skinned, and a ladies home journal as underwear, I'm in it to win it yo
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) May 14, 2020
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