New year, new number.
Out with the old (35 funniest) and in with the new (50 funniest) though if you really paid close attention the total number of tweets and memes exceeded thirty-five every week.
People really seemed to have enjoyed my round-up of the funniest parenting memes and tweets of 2022. If you haven’t checked it out yet, go give it a look, because it’s goddamn hilarious.
Just a quick reminder before we dive into the funniest parenting tweets and memes this week – I still have a few open slots for anyone interested in my coaching and consulting services. If you’re looking to be more productive, get healthier, or just get more shit done, head over to this page, and let’s set up a call.
And if you haven’t yet, check out my list of the 8 books I recommend everyone read this year.
Here are this week’s dad jokes, mom puns, funny tweets, memes, and plain old rants from other parents.
7-year-old: This tastes like fish.
Me: It is fish.
7: Oh. I thought you messed up chicken nuggets.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 6, 2022
The hoodie IS my jacket
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 6, 2022
I like to solve all my problems by quietly walking into the sea
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 6, 2022
Welcome to parenthood. The next 5 years of your life will mostly be spent walking back and forth from the car to the house to grab things you forgot.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 31, 2021
Kids rule everything around me
Got no money
Piling up the bills y’all
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) January 5, 2022
Me: I’d love to lose a few pounds this month.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 6, 2022
thoughts and prayers for my 8 yo who is distraught that he has to take a shower today after he "just took a shower 4 days ago".
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 6, 2022
the kids can put themselves to bed and be a disaster in the morning or you can fight them into bed and regret it now. make your choice pic.twitter.com/NYgYXKR4fd
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) January 7, 2022
My 13yo just told me that if I let him watch Deadpool he will tell his dad that I did physical therapy already today.
I guess I have a favorite kid now.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 7, 2022
I made the mistake of explaining the concept of a "gallery wall" to my 3yo and now we have art, christmas cards, and junk mail taped on every vertical surface of the house
— Science Mom 🔬 (@EmSlyce) January 6, 2022
In the bathroom my 5yo said that I took so long to pee because I am “such a big man” and is it wrong that I feel weirdly proud about this?
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 4, 2022
It’s not fair that my kids get to grow up with AIs and smart phones but when I was growing up I had to hold the tv antenna in place so my mom could watch Walker Texas Ranger
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) January 7, 2022
Talking about refilling a prescription and 10 says, “It may cause nausea, diarrhea or vomiting, check with your doctor before taking it, Daddy,” and it may be time to limit her YouTube screen time.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 7, 2022
i heard my five year old talking about her boyfriend so i asked what it meant to have a boyfriend
5: he gives me all his goldfish at snack time
…looks like she gets this relationship stuff
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 6, 2022
So you think the sloth is the slowest land mammal in the world? Let me introduce you to my 4 year old when he needs to get ready for bed
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 6, 2022
Sometimes I say ‘I’m going to take a quick shower’ but what I mean is my shower will be the same length it always is and it won’t be quick.
— Mama Needs A Coke (@MamaNeedsACoke) January 5, 2022
Nodding absent mindedly and saying "Sounds good" to your child sometimes means that you just agreed to a sleepover with 4 friends at your own house and this is why parenting is dangerous.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) January 6, 2022
Zoom schooling your children is really great for your marriage, said no one ever
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 7, 2022
Kids: YAY A SNOW DAY!
Same kids, 30 seconds after the storm knocks out the Internet: THIS IS TERRIBLE.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 7, 2022
"are you ok?" no, seeing the rules for resetting my password made me remember my old password
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) January 5, 2022
My 7yo scooted away from me in disgust when she saw me watching a zit popping video, so now I'm wondering if there was some sort of mix up at the hospital.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) January 7, 2022
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