Just The Notes

Note #814 – Delayed

Note #814

I’m late one time – ONE TIME – and get the guilt trip of a lifetime.

It wasn’t my fault. The traffic in my area is ridiculous. Any trip under ten miles takes 23 minutes and involves 42 traffic lights, 756 cars, and 3,454 curse words.

I’m still unfamiliar with the surrounding towns and often miss entrances, exits, and street signs. One missed turn adds another 10 minutes.

The oldest kid didn’t care that I was a few minutes late, but his little sister read me the riot act. She was worried no “one was coming to get them,” even though dozens of kids hadn’t been picked up yet, and the school has an after-care program.

“I might be late, but I would never, EVER forget to pick you guys up.”

“I told her that,” my son added.

“Where were you anyway?” she asked a few minutes into the ride home. “You’re usually always here super early.”

“I gave a talk to a group of high school freshmen?”

“About what?”

“Being a writer.”

“And they listened?”

“Yes. Some kids actually listen to me. Imagine that.”

***

NOTES YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

 

STUFF I DID ON INSTAGRAM THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

 

STUFF I DID ON TIKTOK THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

@chris_illuminati #stitch with @chamberlin_kevin you’ve been warned, sir. #SmellLikeIrishSpring #maleaudience #pizza ♬ original sound – Chris Illuminati617

@chris_illuminati Umm. Nailed it 🤣. #fyp #datingadvice #SmellLikeIrishSpring ♬ Love You So – The King Khan & BBQ Show

@chris_illuminati

#duet with @mikesinger898 we’re all get screwed daily and we’re too busy to notice. #SmellLikeIrishSpring #UnsealTheMeal #InstaxChallenge

♬ original sound – Tik Toker

***

That’s all I’ve got, kids. Please do me a favor and subscribe to the website and never miss an update. Ever.

And if you haven’t checked out my line of customized Post-It Notes with 3M, please do so immediately!

I love you all.

Except you, Greg. Screw you.

– Chris

Thanks for reading! If you like this article, please take a second to like, comment, or share this with friends or random strangers. If you’re new to the website, please take a second to follow me on INSTAGRAMTIKTOKFACEBOOK, TWITTER, or TUMBLR.

Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at cilluminati@gmail.com.

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