Just The Notes

Note #810 – Asylum

Note #810 copy

I’m renting at the moment. I moved at the end of last year to be closer to the kids and, because of Covid, finding a place to live was pure insanity.

Luckily, I found a brand new apartment about five minutes down the road from the kids. I signed a two-year lease which gives me enough time to find a home.

I have a few “must-haves” on my new house wish list, and near the top of that list are separate bedrooms for the kids. If they continue to share a room, one will likely murder the other, or I’ll strangle both. (These are both figures of speech – calm your tits.)

There’s a line of duct tape down the center of the room. It doesn’t help.

They’re allowed to do whatever they want in any other room. It doesn’t help.

I can’t prove this feeling, but I’m positive the youngest goes into the room sometimes with the specific goal of annoying the shit out of her older brother. She’ll comment or move something in the room to serve as the open shot in the next World War.

I don’t know if these behaviors are helpful or harmful. I’ll assume a little of both. I don’t have siblings, but I’ve been told these behaviors are typical. No one except my parents ever came into my room to bother me.

I know separate living spaces aren’t going to solve the issue. I understand that siblings will fight even if retreating to different corners between rounds is possible.

Maybe they’ll grow out of the habit before we grow out of this space. If it takes two years, I might move out earlier and leave them both here.

The cat can have my room.

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NOTES YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

STUFF I DID ON INSTAGRAM THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

I’ll just wave from a safe distance.

Go do something hard today.

First date tips everyone should listen to.

Tell me I’m wrong…

STUFF I DID ON TIKTOK THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

Tell me I’m wrong…

@chris_illuminati #stitch with @woodyandkleiny actually this looks easier. #dating #stunts #datingadvice ♬ original sound – Chris Illuminati617

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That’s all I’ve got, kids. Please do me a favor and subscribe to the website and never miss an update. Ever.

And if you haven’t checked out my line of customized Post-It Notes with 3M, you should do so immediately!

I love you all.

Except you, Greg. Screw you.

– Chris

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Chris Illuminati is a freelance writer and published author. Follow him on Twitter (@chrisilluminati), Instagram (@messagewithabottle) or email him at cilluminati@gmail.com.

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