Parenting Note #742: The Elements

I didn’t start paying attention to the weather until I become a parent. I don’t think anyone monitors the weather until kids come along.

I had a couple of kids, and suddenly I’m an adjunct meteorologist, walking around with a Doppler radar strapped to my back for the latest updates.

“Sorry, kids, we can’t leave the house today. Ice will be forming due to a cold front moving in from…”

“I better move our family barbeque. Large clouds of precipitation hovering over the Appalachian mountains could peak their heads in here by week’s end.”

Before kids, I would make statements like, “Oh, it’s supposed to snow for the next 11 days? I better buy a second packet of Ramen noodles.”

The only time I stop paying attention to the weather is during those days, weeks, and months when it’s something new every day. The last month, we’ve had two feet of snow followed by two days of freezing rain. Tomorrow will be in the mid-forties. There’s another storm heading in this weekend.

Frankly, weather watching is taking up too much of my goddamn time. Also, this radar is getting too heavy to drag around everywhere.

PARENTING NOTES YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED

1. Parenting Note #741: Cramped
2. Parenting Note #740: Hot Stuff
3. Parenting Note #739: Just Look Busy
4. Parenting Note #738: Emails
5. Parenting Note #737: Is Santa Real?
6. Parenting Note #736: Answers
7. Parenting Note #735: Upgrades

Other Stuff I Did When I Wasn’t Writing Notes

Arthur Spooner > Frank Costanza

Don’t @ me pic.twitter.com/vmXlfEyqjQ

— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) February 10, 2021

• More sad news for fans of “Jeopardy” after a recent champion passed away earlier this month.
• Here’s a guy who just doesn’t know how to get engaged the right way.
• How good could this bologna be that this guy would risk getting caught smuggling 194 pounds over the Mexican border.
• Want your phone to stop changing curse words to “ducking”? Try this simple phone hack.
• Here’s one of the luckiest lottery players ever.

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